World IVF Day Tribute

In honor of world IVF Day this year, I’m teaching a yoga class for infertility at Sloan’s Lake Park for the Jewish Fertility Foundation, which is a full circle kind of moment. It feels like a slow, steady exhale to be on the other side of the gigantic hurdle of our first IVF journey. Our miracle daughter, Marley Joy, is now 20 months and I am 43. It’s true that time with a child goes so fast! However, time on the path of infertility creeps by as though the second hand on a clock has stalled. 

The desperation and determination to create life felt all consuming and required trust in modern medicine and science. Procedures and protocols riddled with medical jargon prescribed cocktails of hormones and strange drugs. My mental and emotional well being was preoccupied with to-dos to the point I would have night terrors in fear I forgot to take a pill, put on a patch or stick a shot. So much was out of my control during this emotional, traumatic, grief-filled, bank-breaking yet ultimately life-giving process. I was whisked away on the IVF rollercoaster. Anxiety peaked because the stakes were so high and emotions plummeted down through doubt and back around to hope. 

I knew that stress didn’t support the cause so I prioritized self care and turned to the tools in my yoga therapy toolbox. I committed to using practices and principles to ease anxiety and increase vitality. My yoga mat became a safe haven. Mindfulness practices were medicine. I committed to daily meditation and affirmation practice through fertility treatments especially prior to shots to visualize the medicine working and to ease the pain. Yoga nidra and body scans helped to balance my nervous system and provide much needed time to slow down and rest. Breathwork was my best friend because conscious breathing was the only free resource I had that was there at any moment without fail. Turns out I needed to “just breathe” A LOT!!! I also devoted to a daily dose of mindful movement through my physical yoga practice. This carried on through pregnancy because I found that the tiny seed needed so much nourishment physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to grow. My yoga practice was a barometer of finding balance in my body, mind and soul throughout my pregnancy and postpartum. As my body changed so did my practice. I completed a prenatal yoga teacher training and realized that teaching others along the same path served as a meaningful way to connect with other mamas-to-be. 

The desire to connect with others that are on a similar journey through teaching yoga still holds true and I look forward to sharing the tricks and tools that softened the flow on my infertility rollercoaster. Even as I write this and say I’m “on the other side,” I realize that the cycle will begin again when we go back for round 2. Yes, it’s true, hopefully there will be an IVF baby 2! It all feels a bit daunting yet also hopeful since we have a beautiful reminder in Marley Joy that the IVF process can be a medical miracle. 

To me IVF means life. It was a miracle I was able to conceive a child through team work with an egg donor, my husband, doctors and embryologists at 41. Because our donor’s eggs are only 30 years old, my “geriatric” fertility state can hopefully support another pregnancy using the healthy embryos we have on ice. I will be 44 when we try to conceive again and 45 by the time we hope to bless Marley with a sibling to keep her company in this wild world. Despite the ups and downs, I am in awe that modern medicine and advances in embryology contribute toward the ability to create life. Ultimately, I am grateful that IVF was an option for us and that our struggles with infertility have a happy ever after…to be continued :)